I came across the piece below today. Reading over it, it amused me and also struck me that I’d obviously had a particularly trying and difficult day on the job (I’m guessing I was at the school in Trim when I wrote this!) and fantasising about a different life was a way of coping with the day-to-day frustrations. However, it also struck me that there were some elements of truth and authenticity to the fantasy about the sort of life I’d like to live… particularly about the freedom and independence suggested in the fantasy, the healthy and self-sufficient lifestyle that obviously appeals on some level to me. Perhaps I’m subconsciously rejecting conventional, monogamous relationships as well or perhaps it’s just that I don’t see myself with any particular person….
In any case, I’m 41 now, still living in Ireland, so no year-round sunshine, goats or feta cheeSe in my immediate future, nor younger lovers for that matter, but who knows?! Maybe that’ll change some day…;-)
Have a read and see what you think. I’d be curious to know if any of the rest of you ever fantasize about alternative lives when you’re frustrated with your current one…? Is that fantasy just a form of escapism, much like a good book or film, or is it in fact, a message from your subconscious telling you that some elements of your life are out of balance or need to be examined? How close are you to living the sort of life you want to lead?
WRITTEN SEVERAL MONTHS, POSSIBLY EVEN A YEAR OR MORE AGO….
Several hours ago, I was on the verge of quitting my teaching job, relocating to Greece or Croatia (or somewhere equally warm and Mediterranean) and living a simple life. Just me and the goats. Maybe I’d be self -sufficient and have my own herd and drink goats milk and make my own feta cheese. Perhaps I’d grow olives as well and keep a couple of chickens and sell the eggs and my cheese in a local market. When I wasn’t chasing after and milking my goats or tending to my orchard where I grew a variety of organic produce such as tomatoes, grapes, figs, pomegranates, citrus fruits and olives, I’d be found contentedly reading in my studio or staring out to sea on the cliffs overlooking the sparkling Adriatic below. Obviously in this fantasy, as a fantasy it undoubtedly is, I’d be ravishingly gorgeous, sporting a golden tan and sylph like in appearance. The sunshine and regular Vitamin D as well as the Mediterranean diet of fresh fish, lots of fruit and vegetables and buckets of olive oil obviously agrees with me and I would be looking a lot younger than my forty years. In this fantasy, I am living alone but not lonely as I have a variety of young, handsome and virile lovers to entertain me when I’m at a loose end. Where I will live in this scenario is not really of great importance, suffice to say that it is a whitewashed and airy light-filled villa overlooking the sea. It’s covered in bougainvillia and the scent of pines, rosemary and lavender lingers in the air……
Anyway, then I went for a walk, had dinner and reconsidered. Which just goes to show that emotions are transitory and not a good basis for making decisions.